Torn

Those wounds,
deep in my chest,
ripped open
once again.
Fresh blood
drains from my
heart and
stains my
pale, white skin.
I'd give
anything to
have a hell hound
rip me inside
instead of
your words,
your lack of trust
in me.
I'd burn
in the fires of
the sun
before I'd
let your
words scald me
once again.
My heart
no longer feels
emotion,
nor do I.
You took away
my will
to love
again, and now
you must
keep your
promises to me
as I have
for you.
It is time you made
a decision.
Love me
or hate me. It is
your
choice.

23/01/2010

Hands

My hands.
As odd as they
seem,
they are my
treasures.
They draw my
dreams,
paint all my
problems,
and write down
all the worry
that flows through
my mind.
They are my
outlets of
joy and pain, of
lust and of jealousy,
documenting the emotion
that courses
through my veins
in a way I
never imagined possible.
Things I'd never
dare to say
out loud,
set out for
the world to
view.
I'd be lost
if I could no longer
write to tell
the stories
of love, and of sorrow,
that fill my heart
with tears,
that blind my eyes
with the passion
of my soul.
Eyes I could live
without.
But hands?
Without them,
I am but an
empty shell,
rejected by my
being, cast aside
and left
to rot.
Hands create
music, and music
is the food of
love.
Without hands,
there would be
no music,
there would be
no love.
What kind of world
would we live in
if there was
no love?
This one.

16/01/2010

For the best

Your words, they
tore me open
yet again.
But.
On reflection,
you were very
right. You
let
me see the
upside to this
pessimistic world of
mine.
My thoughts are
new, changed in
perspective, a fresh
way.
In this new
chapter, you
are my best
friend.
Nothing more,
nothing less than
loyal, a caring
soul.
A guide to
help me through
life, to survive
love.
My heart is
different too:
my love is
stronger.
But meant
as a brother,
not a lover, to
me.
The joy your
presence in my
life gives me is
heaven.
We spent so
many magic hours
together, but this
is
undoubtedly
for the best,
for the future,
us.
Always stand
by me, as I will
for you. Love you
bro.
For NBx

02.12.09

Realised too late?

If only I had looked
deeper into my heart
sooner, I may have
seen it longing for you
to set it on fire.
These past few months,
it has only smouldered
and crackled, but now
you are near, it wants
to blaze strong again.
Memories of you make
flames leap, sparks fly,
flying like stardust in
the air, making our love magic.
I want you, I won't
lie about it anymore, but
how can I tell you how I
feel? Everything is
just a dream.

30.11.09

Want

I'm pining for you.
I never realised until
now, but now that I know,
I also know I want
you in my arms.
My soul calls for you
every day as the sun rises,
and still when the moon
watches over my restless,
dreamless slumber.
But if I chance to
dream, you are always
with me, supporting me,
or haunting me in my
constant nightmares.
I tried to cleanse
you from my system, rid
you from my skin, because I
feel your warm fingers
in my hair, everyday.
But no matter how hard I
tried, you never left me alone,
and secretly, I was glad that you
stayed. My heart is
always, eternally yours.

22.11.09

Again

A guiding light,
leading me through the
deep wilderness of my heart:
illuminating the dark corners,
giving me the strength
to climb over the
debris of love.

Shards of my broken
heart make trails of
destruction: paths of pain
snake across my skin,
burning when they are
caressed even by the
most loving fingers.

I can't stand it:
the heat behind your
fingers scalds me, sets me
on fire from within. I long
for the ice to return,
freeze my emotions.

But, when your touch
leaves, I miss it and want
your hands back on my skin,
running through my hair,
lingering on my face,
wiping away my tears.

I want you holding me
all night long, keeping me
safe: nothing bad can happen
when you're here. But when
you leave, the walls
crumble to the ground,
trapping me inside.

Please don't leave me.
I'd suffer a thousand flames,
endless floods, ages of ice and
landslides from the mountains before
I order you away from me.
You own the pieces
of my ruined heart.

Those pieces are fragile,
but I know you will put
my heart back together over time
and I hope, one you're done,
you can love it, me,
once again.

20.11.09

Past

The past.
That's where your
worse choices
stay.
The best
become memories
and forever
last.
You learn
from your actions,
and if not,
tough.
Look back
and smile at the
pain; cry for
your lost
love.